The Way We Stay Under

I drew a heart with an arrow on her sneaker
Ballpoint initials were still a secret
She braided my hair down my back when I’d meet her
Under the culvert, our toes in the water
 
We read about a woman, shaved her head for the service
No bulge in her pants must have made the men nervous
They strapped her down right,
Licked her cheeks and they hurt her
If this what you get when your shelters all burn?
 
And now she’s gone
How is she gone?
They wouldn’t let me have her
They couldn’t know how I loved her
 
Chelsea grew angry and thin like worn leather
She pierced both her lips and she spit at the teachers:
You assholes don’t know how those other girls treat me
Shot gum in her hair, they carved “dyke” in her desk chair
 
(chorus)
 
Down south the professors remain built of potential
They fed my right ear, scratched the left out as evil
I met a young man, boring and gentle
He dug us a Koi pond, menorah on the mantle

(chorus)
 
Now I’m another riddled with cancer
I pluck through the garden, gray with arthritis
I think of her hands, her love and her anger
Chelsea, is this the way we go under?

And now you’re gone
How are you gone?
They wouldn’t let me have you
They couldn’t know how I loved you
 
They wouldn’t let me have her
They couldn’t know how I loved her
They wouldn’t let me have her
They couldn’t know how I loved her